Waking up on November 1st is literally like walking through a door from Halloweentown to Christmastown
What’s this? What’s this? There’s décor everywhere. What’s this? There’s carols in the air. What’s this? I can’t believe my eyes it’s just November come on folks I mean I swear. What’s this?
I FREAKING READ IT IN JACKS VOICE
I FUCKING SANG IT
How to use sand to freak people out
Imagine if some guy was tripping and saw the woman, runs up to help her and she just crumbles apart in his hands. That’s gonna take the trip south.
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.
what the fuck
"hey i’m really full do you want the rest of my-"
There’s just something about that face that cracks me up so bad!